March 2012
1 post
Top of the mornin' to ya!
Well obviously yesterday was St Patricks Day. But Im telling you right now, I did not spend my day drinking heavily while dressed as a sexy leprechaun, so if you’re expecting some wild ‘I woke up in a bush today’ story.. well, sorry to disappoint you.
No, I spent my St Patty’s day with my amazing boyfriend, whose goal must be for me to never completely figure him out...
February 2012
1 post
Exhausted, depressed, vulnerable, forgotten,...
Yeah. That just about covers it..
January 2012
1 post
All right new year, what do you have for me this...
When 2011 started to say that I was in a dark place would probably be a mild understatement. But now, looking back, I can barely recognize the girl that I used to be. She was so full of pain and sadness and an insecurity that was anything but stable. And I stand here today so full of life and love. That’s not to say that 2011 didn’t have it’s fair share of difficulties. There...
November 2011
2 posts
Seriously? Who did I piss off?
What did I do to warrant all the bullshit going on in my life this past week?.. =/
Started off being made to feel utterly worthless by the person that I love most in this world, again.. Why would you put your friends before me? You always say that you love me more than anything and you want to spend your life with me.. does that just not include your time? Stop acting like this has only happened...
Well.. That was lame.
October 2011
1 post
Streaming consciousness.
Having one of those days. Well, not so much ‘days’ as ‘nights’ I suppose. That’s how it usually happens though right? You’re fine when you’re out and about with friends and the people who love and care about you, but its then, in the middle of the night, when you’re alone in your bed that your thoughts drift to that dark place in your mind. No...
August 2011
1 post
RIP Summer 2011
The summer of 2011 is drawing to a close. Sunset has been sneaking up and taking that extra hour of daytime back from us and our nights are slowing becoming cooler again. School is just around the corner. Football season is almost upon us. (Go Blue!) And long nights that drag into even longer mornings will soon become a staple in my agenda.
As I reflect upon this past summer I cant help but...
April 2011
1 post
The End Has Finally Come.
So. The past week was pretty insane. I’ve been working my ass off to the point of exhaustion being that finals are right around the corner. I actually ended up in the emergency room last thursday because of all the stress and how it affects my heart. At least, that’s what I’m going to go a head and assume happened. I was on my way to work, freaking out about my trip to Chicago...
March 2011
5 posts
Alone, you'll never stand a chance.
As life moves forward, time slips through your fingers. As the days move on, so do other people. As one heart shatters, a million others do the same. So don’t let life carry on with out you. Call your own shots. Don’t let time take away the chances you have at happiness. Never regret a broken heart, just find someone to help you put it back together.
Work with time, not against it,...
Just something I thought about while getting the...
Why does no one write letters anymore? Now days people barely take the time to email or write notes. All forms of informal communication have limited to texting or using social gathering sites, even talking on the phone is becoming less common.
Personally there is nothing better than getting a handwritten note or letter. Knowing that someone took the time to actually sit down, organize their...
Don't forget to breathe.
I feel like theres so much that I have to say, but I never seem to find the time or the words to do it. My thoughts are constantly battling for dominance in my mind and it seems as if I never get enough time to fully develop any of them. So much about the world amazes, disgusts, surprises, appalls and confuses me. More than anything I just want to quit school, my jobs, and go explore it with...
Look what you've done. Jerk.
Seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, and hours turn into days. None of it seems to mean a thing when I’m not with you. Time is no longer measured by seconds, hours, or days, but by how long it will be until I see you next. Days just seem to drag by, indistinguishable from the ones previous when you’re not on my agenda. Spring break has become more torturous than relaxing...
February 2011
2 posts
Just fabulous.
Have to say, breaking down in tears while in one of the most populated parts of campus is probably one of my favorite things to do.
=/
Lately.
Well. Welcome to February.
My life is pretty amazing and I’m loving it. It’s crazy to think that a little over a month ago I was a complete mess. I was constantly upset, I felt worthless, and I was on the verge of giving up on myself and ever finding any semblance of happiness in my life. Then I met him.
It just makes me think, what if I wouldn’t have been feeling gutsy on...
January 2011
3 posts
Changes.
Twenty days it has been into the new year and so far I have not been disappointed. My new classes have been on the easy side so far and my professors are surprisingly decent. I’ve begun to slowly take myself out of my comfort zone, and it just may be one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while. Reason being that It helped me to meet a boy in my english class.
How? During our second...
My mind's process.
Yeahhh, so I guess I really should be sleeping since I have school in the morning and stuff, but how often do I ever really listen to my own advice? haha. So anyway, I’ve just been sitting here, uploading CD’s onto my laptop’s itunes, ‘doing math homework’ and analyzing my life up to this point. I’ve come to the realization that I really haven’t done a...
2010.
I decided on New Years that I was going to summarize my life during 2010 and then list out the future goals I have for myself. Then about seven sentences into writing it I just got depressed and couldn’t bring myself to finish. But it needs to be done. To put things simply 2010 was a very complicated time in my life. The fact that that previous sentence contradicts itself proves my point...
December 2010
5 posts
Ever get the feeling that you're being watched?
Soo I was sitting on my couch minding my own business and all of a sudden I got that weird ‘hair standing up on your neck’ feeling, like I was being watched. Naturally I started to glance around the room nervously looking for anything weird or out of place, eventually my gaze found its way over to the door wall, where the blinds were still open. Suddenly I saw movement. What I saw...
RIP Mikey.
Today, on Christmas, one of the supposed most cheerful days of the year, when families get together and you surround yourself with the ones that you love and cherish, one of my friends died. Heart Attack. Gone forever.
Mikey and I had been friends since the 7th grade. We used to stay up for hours on AIM just talking about nothing and arguing about stupid things. He would come over some days...
And that night, like so many nights before, she cried herself to sleep wondering how people could be so hurtful and cruel. </3
Are you okay?
Mmhhmm. I can’t bring myself to straight out lie, so instead i’ll mumble and smile, maybe even let out a chuckle at the thought of there being anything wrong. Because what could possibly be wrong? Life is good right?
Wrong. So very very wrong.
I couldn’t even begin to explain how I feel inside But I guess, for...
Life.
Life is difficult. Life is not fair. Life is full of people that are trying to tear you down and kick you while you’re on the floor. Life sucks. but at the same time.. Life is what we live for. Life can be full of love and happiness. Life is the most precious thing that we have. Life is many things. It can be full of despair or reward.. It all depends on how you live it.
November 2010
4 posts
I Want to See the World
I want to jump into my car and drive as far as the road takes me, then go even farther. I want to push the limits.
I want to have one of those maps on my wall with a red pin in every place that I’ve ever been to. I want to eventually be able to see more red than anything else on that map. I want to find adventure.
I want to discover something that no one has ever seen before. I want to...
These words are my own.
I am probably the best actress you will ever have the misfortune of knowing. Approximately 70% of my each and every day is a never-ending show put on for those around me. The other 30%? I’m sleeping. Apart from the rare instances that I stray from my very well developed character, I am merely an unpaid actress, dancing across the stage that is my life, while someone else feeds me the lines I...
My Biggest Fear.
The thought that I will end up alone, without anyone who cares about me, is probably the biggest fear that I have. At the same time, I don’t wish myself on anyone. After years of being rejected and called worthless, I can’t imagine anyone really wanting to be with me, to get to know me, and want to spend their life with me, and I suppose I can’t blame them. Yet, I will keep...
Sometimes I Wonder..
There is so much to the universe that we know nothing about, it’s astounding. I find myself questioning anything and everything anymore, wondering why I’m here and what I’m supposed to do while I’m alive. I refuse to believe that I’m just a random person on the planet with no purpose, but at the same, neither do I believe that ’God’ has some big plan for...
June 2010
1 post
Nothing will ever be the same.
Life is changing. I’m graduating this friday and it’s like the world is stuck on fast forward. I dont know how I should react to anything happening around me anymore. One minute everything is fine and the next it’s like a hole to hell has opened right infront of me. One minute I’m laughing and smiling, and the next I’m bawling my eyes out over the smallest of things....
