So. The past week was pretty insane. I’ve been working my ass off to the point of exhaustion being that finals are right around the corner. I actually ended up in the emergency room last thursday because of all the stress and how it affects my heart. At least, that’s what I’m going to go a head and assume happened. I was on my way to work, freaking out about my trip to Chicago the next day and all of my projects due the following week and I started to get some really intense chest pains. Like, worse than i’ve ever experienced and I started shaking, my face turned red, and my whole left side started to tingle and ache. I tried to just blow it off being that I was already late for work, but Joe was insistent that I go to the hospital and get checked out.
So I went into work, planning on just working anyway, but as soon as I walked through the door everyone started asking me what was wrong. I hadn’t noticed, but I started crying, visibly shaking, and I was burning up. Needless to say, I ended up in the emergency room for the next 3 hours. And once again, they found nothing wrong with me. -.-
The Doctor tried telling me that I couldn’t go on my trip until I talked to my family doctor, and my Dad tried telling me that I couldn’t go because we were driving there and back in the same day and I obviously wouldn’t be able to handle it. But there was no way in hell that I was missing my concert.
So the next morning I got all my things together and headed off to pick up the boys. First stop we went to the gas station and the idiots didn’t know how to open the hood of my car, or check the oil.. I showed them what to do, Ken added some more oil to Clank and then we were on our way. We werent even out of GC before the ‘Are we there yet?’s’ began, and soon enough Ken was hitting Matt on the head with a water bottle repeating ‘Umad?’ over and over again until Ken decided he wanted to take a nap. Eventually it was Matt’s turn to drive.. which was short lived because he pulled over about a half hour later and made me drive the rest of the way there.. -.-
Upon entering Chicago they woke up, and I could finally answer ‘yes’ when Ken asked me if we were there yet. This was also short lived because we got lost due to mapquest being a piece of shit. After freaking out and going on the wrong expressway a couple of times, I pulled over, set the gps in my phone, and we were back on our way.
The line was already pretty intense by the time that we got there, and after an adventure to find the nearest bathroom after Matt yelling at me every couple of seconds that he needed to pee, we got into line and started our 4 hour wait to see the band that we had traveled so far to see: My Chemical Romance. <3
The wait would have been fine if it hadn’t started to rain.. Wait turned from ‘fun, excited, and anxious’ to ‘hair ruined, clothes wet, body cold. fail.’ in a very short period of time.. Luckily there was a dollar store that had nifty ponchos nearby. ;]
After a while we went and got some amazing Pizza from a little shop in the same plaza as was the dollar store. Then between Matt and Ken destroying each others ponchos and the Mom in front of us talking to me about her daughter aiming to be on broadway, we were pretty entertained.. I guess.. lmao
Eventually the rain started to get to us and we were all freezing. So we decided that a group huddle would be a good solution. This worked out alright for a while, then Matt decided to abandon the group, leaving me and Ken clinging to each other in the rain. Momma Tracii still talking away at me.
FINALLY the doors opened and we got all excited again.
We ran over to the floor in front of the stage to stake a claim on a spot before the concert began. We surprisingly didn’t have to wait long until the lights went dimm and the first band started to play. As soon as the Architects started their set the whole crowd started to push forward, something I was not expecting.
I was officially lost from the guys.
It was fine for a while, actually almost fun for about two seconds before I started having trouble breathing. And it was about that point that everything started to go down hill. When the Neon Trees came on, for some reason the lead singer decided that it would be a good idea to tell the crowd to go crazy and start hitting each other while they performed their song ‘Animal’. asshole. -.-
They were done soon enough, and then everyone started going real bat shit insane waiting for MCR. The rational side of me realized what a bad idea being in the pit was and desperately wanted to find a way out, but the rest of me was too high on the idea of being right in front of the stage when my favorite band started to play. I think its pretty obvious what part won that argument.
Once again the lights dimmed down and the screaming began, as well as the pushing. By this time I was only like 10 feet from the stage. I was covered in sweat, majority of it not even my own, my jeans were being ripped every which way and my shirt ended up getting pulled down and exposing my lacy red bra. It got intense. There was no halt in the movement of what I can accurately describe as the sea of people I was standing in. It was high tide.
As hard as it had been to stay on my feet the entire time, It got so much worse once Gerard started to sing. Everyone started to sing along when Nanananana started, temporarily halting the pushing and shoving of the crowd around me. For those couple seconds, life was amazing.
Then I felt myself falling.
I keep describing the crowd as a sea during high tide, but once I hit the ground it became even more accurate. As the people around me fell on top of me and I could no longer see anything, I felt like I was drowning. All I could do was scream and hope to not be trampled or suffocated. Boy did I scream.
It didn’t take too long before I was hoisted back up unto my feet by a nice girl I was chatting with previously, of course this wasn’t before I got my ankle stepped on by the guy on top of me. Once I was back on my feet I had to close my eyes and breathe slowly for a little while so that I didn’t have a panic attack in the middle of the pit. The last thing I wanted to do was start freaking out in the midst of what can only be described as total chaos.
As soon as the song ended Gerard stopped to have a few words with the audience. He said how he noticed a group of people fall and how instantly he saw the people around stop to help them up and to “keep doing that,” he said he didn’t want to see any of the fans hurt and for us to continue to keep looking out for each other.
The fact that he had made reference to that group falling, to me falling, made the whole situation better. Yeah sure, he doesn’t know who I am personally, but for those couple of seconds that he made a personal reference to what had just happened and that he cared about what happened to us, made me feel kind of special.
And soon enough, the feeling was gone and I was being thrown around again. Pretty quickly I started to feel light headed and began considering leaving the pit. But once again, I was determined to enjoy the concert fully. Then I blacked out. And after that, It became clear, that being tossed around like a rag doll by people I didn’t know, being trampled, and elbowed in the face, was in no way helping me to enjoy the concert. So I got an escort out of the crowd.
It didn’t take long before I found Matt and Ken again. I knew they wouldn’t stay in the pit, and just like I had figured, I found them on the sidelines near the stairs. I went to drag them both into a much needed hug and Matt just kind of pushed me into Ken. I mean, I know didn’t look the cutest and was covered in other peoples sweat, but I didn’t expect to be pushed away..
After getting a drink and splashing my face with some cold water in the ladies room I was feeling loads better. I made my way back to the guys and we all enjoyed the rest of the concert together.
We beat the crowd and left as soon as the final song ended and the guys walked off stage, Ray with a dragging limp. Yet another example to add to the list of how insanely dedicated those men are to their music. He rocked it with everything he had, I didn’t even realize he was hurt until he walked off stage.
The drive to get home was a brutal one. When we had first made our plans back in november we were going to get a hotel room.. but due to conflicts with Matt’s schooling we ended up having to drive home straight after the concert. And let me tell you, driving 5 hours to chicago, getting your shit fucked up at a concert, and then driving 5 hours home right afterward will destroy you.
I drove us for an hour and a half before I started to fall asleep at the wheel. Ken, noticing my exhaustion, made me pull over so that he could drive the rest of the way home. I talked to Joe for a while on the phone about the concert before I started to nod off once again.
It was raining, dark to the point that we could barely see the road, and we thought a few times that we were going to crash. All the while Matt slept in the backseat, waking up to yell at us whenever we screamed about not being able to see.
Eventually it became extremely hard for me to keep my eyes open, which Ken noticed and tried to force me to take a nap being that I still would have to drive myself home after dropping the guys off. Didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want to leave him awake by himself with 160 miles left to drive by himself.
Quickly enough Matt woke up, unable to get anymore sleep in the car, and I passed out for the next 2 hours until we got back into Garden City.
By the time I got to sleep it was almost 5:30 in the morning, the birds outside chirping happily. Me, completely exhausted.
And now today, my last day of classes in my first year of college. It’s crazy how fast time flies anymore. It feels like just the other day that this semester started, just the other day that I found the man of my dreams in my english class, just the other day that I realized just how much my life has changed for the better. Just the other day that I fell in love.
I have never in my life been as stressed out as during this past week. Yet I wouldn’t change a thing.
As always, my darling boyfriend has been there for me to calm me down and make me realize that things are never as terrible as they seem. He has been my rock, my constant, my safety and stability. I can only hope that he never grows sick of me.
Now, as I get ready to go to my last class of the year, I feel almost sad that it should be over, yet fitting that English 230 should be my last class of the year. And so the end has finally come, but like all endings, this one shall bring a new beginning. The beginning of summer.
And that is something that I could truly use right about now. <3